Matthew: Welcome to Velocity Selling T.V. My name’s Matthew Whyatt. I’m here on the Gold Coast in Australia and we’ve got the founder of Velocity Selling up in Ottawa Canada. Welcome Bob.
Bob: Yeah hey Matthew, good to see you again.
Matthew: Thanks very much. Hey look Bob, last time we spoke about the uh, uh, our ten rights, and then at the end of that session, you talked about the I,R theory. What is that?
Bob: Umm, alright. So, uh we talked about liking yourself as you are, we discussed the BAFAR system, the right to fail, the right to ask. Ok, the I,R theory is, umm, it’s, I’m gonna take you through a little self-discovery process for all the participates, everybody listening here today will get this, I hope. Um, I stands for ‘Identity’, it’s who you are. R stands for your role. For example, my role, I’m a speaker and a trainer, uh a coach. Your role, you’re a CEO, you’re an entrepreneur, you’re a businessman. Get the idea?
Matthew: Sure I understand.
Bob: So, yeah, our roles don’t always dictate our identity, so what I wanna do is take you through what I call ‘Identity versus Role’. So let’s start with the role side. I want you to think about your role. Your present role,
Matthew: Mmmhmm
Bob: and I want you to rate your performance in that role on a scale of zero to ten. Zero- you show up to work and do nothing, Ten- you’re top performer. How would you rate your performance in the role that you’re presently playing?
Matthew: Well, I think there’s always room for improvement, so I’d have to give myself around about, probably an 8.
Bob: Well, I don’t need your answer by the way, but that’s good. Here’s what we’re gonna do (holding up chart with I,R separated into columns.) Identity. Role.
Matthew: Ok.
Bob: Let’s start with, with uh, I’m gonna say three. Now, now this isn’t you personally, thanks for, ya know, sharing your answer Matthew, but that’s excellent. But let’s say somebody rates their role as a three. Now, why would they rate their role as a three? Well, there’s two reasons: One, they just started in their job, they just started a week, two weeks ago, and their not fully informed on their job and their learning. So it’s ok to be a ‘three’. That’s perfectly normal. The other reason it’s a three is because you hate your job. You can’t stand going to work, you can’t stand the people towards you. Get the idea?
Matthew: Sure do.
Bob: If you feel like a three, how does it make you feel about yourself? On the identity side?
Matthew: interrupting Bob Well often, the role and the identity- sorry go on,
Bob: No no, if, if, you perform like a three, regardless whether you hate your job, or you’re new at your job, if you perform like a three, how does it make you feel about yourself on a scale of zero to ten?
Matthew: Well usually about a three.
Bob: Yeah, certainly not more than a three. So you’ve got the idea. But let’s say you’ve been with the organization for ten, twenty, thirty years, and you’ve rated yourself as a nine? Now, you’re a top performer, you know it. Everything else, how does it make you feel?
Matthew: Makes you feel really good.
Bob: Also like a nine probably right?
Matthew: Absolutely.
Bob: Now, you come into work today Matthew, and let’s say I’m your boss and I say ‘Matthew, I wanna thank you for your twenty years of dedicated service, but due to downsizing, right sizing, or whatever, we no longer need you. What happens to your role? You go from a nine to?
Matthew: Zero.
Bob: How does it make you feel?
Matthew: Well you know if, if you attach your role and your identity together, you’re also gonna feel like a zero aren’t you?
Bob: Exactly. Now, how many people do you know in the last twenty years that have lost their jobs, they’ve lost their jobs, they’ve lost their role? With the loss of their role, they’ve lost their identity, lost their family, turned to drugs, alcohol, and even gone as far as committing suicide.
Matthew: Well that’s right and you also see it in people who are retired, people who are vital and capable during their career, they retire, and they, they, they pass away.
Bob: That’s it. And that’s the second part. Then you have these people retire, within five years, they end up dying, that’s the question, the answer, I get to the question, all over the world. But here’s the thing, that’s always because society has led us to believe that role, title and roles, are what success is all about. If you’re a CEO, are you not better than a director? Are you now better than a manager or a clerk? Society leads us to believe that, so they motivated us towards these higher role levels thinking it’s roles when in reality look at what it does to us, it kills us.
Matthew: chuckles
Bob: So, this, this by the way, is I ask the question ‘Who am I?’. You just defined who you were by the role you play.
Matthew: Mmmm.
Bob: Most people do. Would you agree?
Matthew: Absolutely.
Bob: When you introduce yourself, do you say who you are and what you do?
Matthew: Yeah, especially at a networking event, they ask a question ‘Who are you and what do you do?’, and you tell them your role.
Bob: There’s the role, that’s where our focus is. So, now let me take you on another exercise. Again, the question now is different. The question is not, the question, the first one was, ‘Who am I?’, Now the question is: ‘Who am I without roles?’. I want you to be stripped of all your roles. You’re not a salesperson, you’re not a manager, you’re not a CEO, you’re not an entrepreneur, you’re none of these things. I want you to be stripped naked down to you, and yourself, surrounded by mirrors if you want, I want you to rate what you see. Zero- I’m a nobody, Ten- I’m somebody to be dealt with. Now, don’t give me your answer.
Matthew: Ok.
Bob: Let’s go back here and work this in opposite. (holding up the chart). If you rated your identity as a three, it’s because you have low self-esteem, low self-confidence, you’re lacking courage, you don’t believe in yourself. You’re leading your life from the outside in, as opposed to the inside out. You’re reactive. You became a doctor because daddy’s a doctor and daddy wanted you to grow up and be just like him, but you hate being a doctor. Get the idea?
Matthew: Sure.
Bob: So if you feel like a three, how are you gonna perform in any role of your choosing?
Matthew: Pretty poorly.
Bob: As a three.
Matthew: As a three.
Bob: However, let’s say you sat down with yourself, the most important person in the world. You asked yourself what you want and you’re out seeking it. You know what you want, you are proactive, not reactive. You don’t wait for things to happen, you make things happen, because you’ve got good eslf-confidence, good self-esteem. You believe in you and you’re living your life from the inside out, so you feel like a nine. If you feel like a nine, how are you gonna perform in any role of your choosing?
Matthew: A nine. You will definitely….
Bob: Exactly. You come into work today and your boss says ‘We no longer need you’ well, your role drops to zero, but what does it do to your identity?
Matthew: It doesn’t impact it.
Bob: It stays as a nine. It doesn’t impact it. See, what we’re talking about here under identity, this is your level of self-confidence, self-esteem, self-respect. That all adds up to your self-worth. Your self-worth translates into your net worth. I ask people in the room, ‘How many millionaires do we got in the room?’, very few hands go up. Then I explain to them how ten years ago I had a bad accident. I broke my femur in five places, there were all spiral brakes, and I was told I’d never walk again. They ended up putting a pin through my knee, a plate up the side, and fifteen screws to put it together. People used to say I was screwed up, now it’s official.
Matthew: chuckling
Bob: But Matthew, would you sell me your leg for a million bucks?
Matthew: Uh, no I wouldn’t.
Bob: Would you sell me an eyeball for a million bucks?
Matthew: No, definitely not.
Bob: What value do you place on yourself? Are you not a mi- a mega billionaire?
Matthew: chuckling Absolutely.
Bob: coughing Excuse me. You see, here’s what happens, you came into this world as a millionaire, but you’ve beaten yourself up, you’ve criticized yourself. You came in as a ten, and you’ve pushed yourself down to a level where you might be right now and this is where you need to work on your identity. And when you strengthen your identity from the inside out, that’ll give you the performance you need to perform in any role of your choosing. This is basic H to H, human being to human being, the way it works. Would you agree?
Matthew: Absolutely Bob. That’s fantastic.
Bob: Anyways, that’s the I,R theory. I want you to focus on your identity, not your roles. It’s your identity that will get you there. I want you to get back up to a ten. And by the way, Matthew, it’s a great exercise. You know, we should actually, we’ve talked about this, maybe doing this for participants to put notes on and help evaluate meetings.
Matthew: Ok.
Bob: And evaluate how. But anyways, great stuff. Till next episode, we’ll talk about, I’ll wrap it all up for ya.
Matthew: Thanks very much Bob. Talk to you soon.
Bob: That’s what I owe you. Thank you.
Matthew: Ok, bye now.
Bob: Bye.

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